“I don’t divide the world into the weak or the strong, the success or the failures… I divide the world into the learners and the non-learners.” Benjamin Barber
A few months ago, I took my kids to a neighbor’s birthday party where they hired a person to make and teach the kids about bubbles. He showed the kids how bubbles work and how to do all these cool tricks and as he was talking he kept repeating, “this takes practice, the more you practice the better you get at it.” He said this so many times that it got stuck in my head and by the time we got home I kept repeating it about everything!
Apparently, he saw how upset the kids would get because it requires some skill to do the bubble tricks and he wanted to remind them it takes time and practice and that they would eventually get it if they kept trying.
These beliefs are what we call a GROWTH MINDSET. A growth mindset means that you believe it is possible to learn new things by putting in effort and that mistakes/challenges are part of this growth/process.
This mindset fosters a love of learning and a sense of acceptance when we make mistakes or struggle. It helps us reach our goals because it empowers us to believe that anything is possible if we put in the effort and keep trying. Science also backs this mindset as studies in neuroplasticity have found that the brain CAN and continues to learn and develop even as adults.
The opposite of a growth mindset is a fixed mindset. This mindset believes that you are either good at something or you are not and that is not something you can change. In other words, a fixed mind set is what you are using when you feel small/stuck and not enough.
This leads to negative thinking and staying stuck – thoughts like, “I always fail”, “I am just bad at relationships/communication” or “I can’t do this (whatever this is)” lead to people quitting and feeling ashamed of themselves and/or jealous of other’s successes.
These mindsets are not set in stone, they are something you can choose and change whenever you want. I invite you to look at your life and your dreams and honestly see where you are choosing a fixed mindset and where you are choosing a growth mindset. Notice how you feel about the areas where you choose a growth mindset vs. fixed mindset. They often switch back and forth.
For instance, if you are feeling good about something you’ve been building over time (growth mindset) and then you’re hit with rejection or disappointment, you might switch to a fixed mindset in order to make sense of the pain that arises.
In any area where you find yourself thinking or saying, “I can’t,” or believing that something you want isn’t possible and it leads to pain and making yourself feel bad – consider what it would look like to use a growth mindset instead.
Here are some examples of growth mindset thinking:
- I can’t right now but I am willing to learn and figure it out.
- Mistakes are part of the journey of growing.
- I am willing to try new things. It is safe to be a beginner again.
- If I am struggling with something, it means there is something for me to learn.
- Failure are necessary steps toward learning. It is part of a bigger process.
I hope this supports you on your journey!
UNLIMITED Love + Light,
Orly
