Overcome Feeling Like A Failure

Are you sick of feeling like a failure? Constantly treading water just trying to get there? If you feel like you’ll never get there or its too much work, let me simplify the process for you and show you the light at the end of the tunnel!

“Life doesn’t demand perfection. It doesn’t require you to be fearlessly confident or self-assured. It simply requires that you keep showing up.” Marie Forleo

 
Showing up means having a steady foundation underneath you even when there is a lot of uncertainty and instability in your future. No matter who you are and what you are working towards – consistently showing up is the only way towards getting wherever “there” is.

Sounds a lot easier on paper than it is in real life – right? In the past few years since I started my coaching business, I have had a choice to show up or close the door and it wasn’t always so clear. I assumed that my sense of security would come from my job and my income. When you venture into entrepreneurship and believe that you will only feel solid when you have steady growth, you are in for a ride! There are constant ups and downs and they are totally imperfect and unplanned.

The same is true for striving for an ideal body weight, relationship, income statement, home, etc.

Here’s what I learned: when your confidence and sense of worth is tied into an ideal outcome and the outcome doesn’t meet your expectation you are left with insecurity, disappointment, confusion and of course a strong desire to quit! That equals not showing up. 

Anytime you tie your sense of self-worth to an external factor instead of to an inner knowing and working you will feel like a failure. You are basically saying, “hey world, money, number on the scale, boyfriend, boss, etc. tell me if I am good enough – validate me so that I can know who I am.”

The truth is your sense of self-worth and value must come from within yourself. By cultivating a relationship with yourself and giving yourself the validation no matter what things look like on the outside – you can work towards overcoming the false idea that it comes from your accomplishments. The belief that you need to look good on paper in order to feel good about yourself is nonsense..

So how do you keep showing up even when all you want to do is give up, try something else or wallow in shame? Here is a list of what it takes to keep showing up in all areas of your life.

1. Clarity – get clear on your why. Why are doing this? What will you gain? What does it mean about you as a person? Sometimes life gets busy and things don’t make sense but if you deeply know what you want and why you have a powerful purpose an anchor set deeply in the sand. No matter what curve balls life throws at you you’ll be ready. Hint: when answering the questions use your heart.
2. Imagination – each of us holds creative powers for a reason. You create your reality by using your imagination. This means sometimes believing in the impossible, seeing a light at the end of the tunnel, or seeing possibility uncertainty. Ask yourself what’s really possible here?
3. Detachment – believe it or not you are not your desires. You can be totally committed to your goal without making it mean something about you. Your dream or goal doesn’t necessarily mean you are good or bad, worthy or unworthy, etc. Once you can detach from it, you won’t feel that every blow makes you want to quit.
4. Imperfection – perfection doesn’t equal success – let it go today. You are human not a robot. I know that you can always work at something to get better but perfection isn’t the goal. When you can accept yourself, your situation and life that way it is, you will attract success. You are fine just as you are today!
5. Balance – what other areas of your life have you been avoiding? I know I can get lost in work and think about it every second but that leads to burning out and being fed up. I know your goal is important to you but no one ever said you need to suffer till you get there. In fact, taking time to balance work with rest, play, love, sports, etc. will create ease and flow. Notice where you’re spending too much energy and holding on too tight.

Having a dream and following it can be tough but if you are willing to show up consistently you can get there. Sometimes people’s lives change overnight however, more commonly, people’s lives change with time and persistence. Don’t give up – use the list above as your guide posts to stick to your dreams and before you know it, they will be your reality!

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SPECIAL SPRING OFFERING – I am opening up a limited amount of spots for a FREE one time Clarity Session with me. If you are ready to get into the drivers seat and find direction & meaning and discover your true potential contact me to schedule!

With Love and Light,