“If you are invested in security and certainty you are on the wrong planet.” Pema Chodron
Whenever I experience something uncomfortable, my reaction is to get as far away from it as possible. Whether it is an emotion, an experience, a person, or even day to day stress.
Without realizing it, many of us look into and learn how to avoid the things that are actually part of our growth and can set us free.
It’s not uncommon to avoid new things and even fear “exciting” experiences. For instance, traveling is fun and exciting, and it is often very stressful, and scary. This makes sense right now as you read it but once you’re in the experience, this logic may not matter.
Because our fears take over, there will be more emotions and more thinking and more judgment and more second guessing ourselves and others.
This is the tornado that we easily lose our way in. It feels as if we are making a huge mistake, or we blame ourselves and others for the sudden overwhelming feelings we feel. We want to hide and stay home and protect ourselves. The reason is it feels challenging, new, stressful, etc.
However, as Pema Chodron said above, if you are reading this, you are having a human life experience and that will be filled with challenges and uncertainty. Life is stressful. You are not wrong or crazy for feeling it. And yet, I believe these challenges and discomfort are necessary to grow and feel content. Having a full life experience (pain, pleasure, and everything in between) is necessary.
This is not to say we are powerless to make changes. You can make changes and move forward, always help yourself and ask for support, however there will still be a certain amount of challenge in your life. This is part of life. It is a reality and arguing with it leads to a dead end.
Instead of avoiding stress, change, trips, growth, or big conversations…meet them face on and this will grow your capacity to manage the challenges that come along with it.
Accept this reality and instead of avoiding the things that might scare you or make you feel uncertain begin to practice being with it. This is like starting a new workout or learning a new language. It takes practice and the more you practice the better you can handle the challenges or stress that comes your way.
We are all growing our capacity for stress, for new things, for uncertainty by showing up and living.
Then, have compassion for yourself instead of judgment for feeling these feelings or having a hard time. It is not supposed to be easy, if it were easy it wouldn’t lead to the growth your soul is desiring for you.
Practice saying to yourself, “it makes sense to feel this way when I am facing my fears or stressed or trying something new”. And “Of course, it is acceptable to feel this way, it’s new and uncertain and you’re stretching yourself to grow.” I hope this supports you on your journey. You can do hard things with love, support, and awareness.
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