I am curious, what are some things that you DON’T want to bring into 2023 with you?
This time of year, people try to add new goals and resolutions into their lives. More exercise, more dieting, more money, etc. However, adding in more isn’t a solution or an equation for happiness because we usually are already full of habits and mindsets that drag us down.
A new way to consider the new year is to notice all the parts of you that no longer serve you and be willing to get curious about what it might look like without them. In the same way we let go of clothes that we no longer want, we can let go of mindsets, thoughts and actions that are hindering our growth.
This begins by awareness of what has been harmful or what is not working well.
Rather than replacing it with something better, get curious about it.
Curiosity is the best tool because it allows us to open towards the unknown without immediately filling the space with something.
Here is what this process looks like for me. Two patterns I want to work towards releasing for 2023 are:
- Judging myself – criticizing my actions and wanting to be other than myself.
- Not trusting myself – thinking that someone or something else has the best answer or that the best answer even exists.
- Awareness – these two ways of thinking keep me stuck in different areas because I am working against myself. If I am working against myself, how can I grow or heal? This creates a lack of compassion for myself and for others and hinders my true nature of unconditional love.
- Curiosity – I could say instead of doing these two things I am going to be more loving and compassionate towards myself, which is the antidote. Though, I want to stay curious and open to these habits. I want to notice when these patterns are coming up and how I can acknowledge them (and the pain I feel) without working against myself. I want to allow new habits to form without force. What might self -compassion look like in these moments, what might I think, say or do?
For instance, I might notice that it happens more when I don’t sleep well or it might happen more when I am in different life transitions, it might happen more when I feel low or when I am stressed out. For the most part, I notice it is strongest when I am avoiding pain.
Then I get curious about what else is possible in these moments, there is the familiar pattern of self-judgment and not trusting myself. I am already familiar with that, what else is there? Let your mind, body and soul guide you – the answer is within YOU.
When you open to curiosity, ideas and possibilities arise naturally. Curiosity creates an open space so that you can discover all the ways that love, compassion and acceptance show up in your life. I’ve learned through curiosity that there are many streams that lead to the sea. There are openings in areas of love and compassion that I never thought existed. This happens when we aren’t holding too tight and are willing to try new things.
