Originally Posted on The Closet Creatives Substack
If someone had told me 20 years ago that I’d one day be guiding fellow sensitive perfectionists back to themselves through creative expression, I wouldn’t have believed them.
I don’t even call myself an artist. It’s a little odd because I spend a significant amount of time exploring art and guiding others to do the same.
The thing is, I don’t do it as an artist. I don’t do it for the final product. I don’t do it to sell it or share it with anyone.
I do it for me. I do it for the process, the expression, and the connection I feel to my inner world.
A Safe Space
My journal was my safe place. Since childhood, it was somewhere I could get my thoughts out of my head and say whatever I wanted without judgment. Perfectionism didn’t show up there.
In art class, however, perfectionism was everywhere. My inner critic was ready to attack and compare, pointing out every shortcoming. My lack of skill was front and center, not to mention the pressure of following someone else’s ideas instead of my own. Ugh and err! I believe I started hating art classes and art teachers in elementary school.
My journal became a space where I could meet myself without needing skill, organization, or even meaning.
Looking back, I can see that this was never really about making art. It was about having:
A safe place to express the words and feelings I couldn’t share out loud.
A safe place to turn down the noise of the world and hear something wiser.
A safe place (the only one) to let myself be human instead of perfect.
The Blank Page
There was a time when a blank page and some markers made my stomach turn. With a pen and lined paper, I could write messily and get it all out without even being able to read it back to myself. But the creative art part? That’s where I got stuck.
It wasn’t because anyone else would see it. It was the extremely critical voice inside me that said, STOP. YOU AREN’T GOOD ENOUGH.
I only gave myself permission to create if there was a clear purpose. And even then, I’d rush through it as if I were racing to finish and move on.
I remember one Halloween when I was carving pumpkins with a very crafty friend. I chose the basic triangles for eyes and a mouth with missing teeth. She printed an intricate spiderweb design, and I suddenly felt myself getting uncomfortable and speeding up.
I was done in what felt like 10 minutes, while she slowly traced, dotted, poked, and carved.
It was such a simple moment, but it reflects something much bigger.
I didn’t realize how much I was holding back because I didn’t feel safe enough to let things emerge. I didn’t feel safe enough to slow down or sit with myself. Yes, even with a carved pumpkin or a journal page.
Things began to change when I gave myself permission to be human, imperfect, and expressive, and to care less about what things looked like. They changed when I began showing up consistently, knowing I wasn’t showing up for the art, but for the space.
In other words, a little self-compassion and kindness go a long way.
The space I’ve created for myself is priceless. It is more abundant than a perfect painting or a sold-out show.
Inside My Actual Journal
My intuitive art journal isn’t about teaching you how to make perfect art. It’s an inside look at what it can feel like to give yourself permission to turn down the outside noise and tune in to your inner desires.
To play, make a mess, and stay open, even when you don’t know where you’re going.
You don’t need confidence before you create. You need compassion. A little space to breathe, without the pressure of getting another thing right, and the willingness to meet yourself wherever you are.
Some days, that might mean feeling angry, frustrated, or sad. That’s okay. Nothing needs to change on those days. Just keep showing up for yourself.
Creating Space for Yourself
I created a community where we can independently sit with our journals and express ourselves in whatever way feels right.
It’s not about skill sets or becoming an artist. It’s about creating a space where you can reconnect with your heart, build trust in yourself, and discover what emerges when we stop trying to make everything make sense.
You don’t have to know how or what you want to create. The important part is your willingness to consistently show up for time with yourself.
The doors to the Closet Creatives Community are reopening soon.
Do you feel the pull to create a safe space for yourself? Do you want to make more room for your inner world?
This is a pressure-free community designed to open the doors to intuition, connection, and the freedom to be your whole self.
If you’re curious, I’d love to welcome you. Stay tuned for more information about our upcoming online community.
