We have finally moved into our new home. It has been a little over a week but it already feels right. This is a stark contrast to the last few times I moved. In the past, moving felt like a stressful burden. It felt chaotic to box up all our stuff and start over again. Yes, it is a part of the experience to feel overwhelmed during times of transition + change however, if you take a deeper look there’s more going on.
I know now that the real reason it was so hard to move before was because I felt a lack of security when I moved. I had so many FALSE ATTACHMENTS to security. For instance, if I had all my stuff set up in a certain way, it would then give me the ILLUSION OF SECURITY which would then make me feel safe. And if everything was a mess and I couldn’t find the stuff I needed, I would feel A LACK OF CONTROL which made me feel unsafe.
There is a lot more to big life transitions, there is a mourning period of saying good bye to what was and mainly to THE PERSON YOU WERE THEN. Good byes are not easy, even when it is something you have really wanted. Even when it’s not a real good bye but rather a better hello. For me, every move I had included a lot of emotions. Sometimes we write it off as stress or busy-ness or tiredness. I know that I FEEL DEEPLY FOR MYSELF and I acknowledge the person I was when I moved in, the memories I had, the growth and expansion I experienced and welcoming what’s may come.
Another piece of transitions is welcoming the UNKNOWN. Though life is always an unknown, we often feel better when we THINK we ALREADY KNOW WHAT ITS GOING TO BE LIKE. Even when we don’t like it or want it to be that way, we KNOW it so makes us feel safer. Truthfully, life is always a FREE FALL, we have ideas, visions, plans, etc. though we never really know exactly what will happen and what it will be like.
So, what made this move different from the past?
- Cultivating security within myself – this will always begin with LOVE AND COMPASSION FOR YOURSELF – from you to you. By listening to what your feeling and taking care of yourself you are becoming your own best friend. By being compassionate with yourself when you facing challenges, you are nurturing + mothering yourself. By REMEMBERING that security is not found in your bank account or in your stuff, you are being TRUE to yourself.
- My awareness of what I was experiencing on a deeper level – it all starts with noticing how and what your feeling. This is easier to do with some quiet time when you slow down. Check in with yourself (morning and bed time rituals are a great way to start).
- Acceptance of the unknown + change – resistance to “what is” can only lead to more pain and stress – if it is happening, it is RIGHT. If you don’t have direct power to change it then do yourself a favor and accept it. Better yet, give yourself PERMISSION to let go more and take things one day at a time.
Remember THIS IS LIFE – change is always happening, sometimes its wearing a different outfit. It may show up as the excitement of a new home, or the bitterness of a divorce, the sadness of a big fight, the heartbreak of losing a loved one, the celebration of a job promotion or big check. These are all a piece of the MAGIC of life. Transitions whether they feel hard or easy are necessary and there is peace found in trusting that.
Love,
Orly
