“The greatest thing in the world is to know how to belong to oneself.”- Michel de Montaigne
“Self-Respect is the fruit of discipline” – A. Heschel _________________________________________
There is a scene in the movie King Richard – the true story of Venus and Serena Williams that moved me and I still think about it. They are talking in the locker room, she is in the middle of a difficult match – one that she was waiting for to prove herself and finally show off her years of training. She starts strong and then her opponent takes over and her self-esteem dwindles. In the locker room her dad says to her,
“If you don’t have no respect for yourself right now, you don’t have none at all.”
King Richard
I love this message and it hit me and stayed with me because in the moments of defeat or setbacks or challenges, we often lose respect for ourselves. We are quick to drop the years of hard work, effort, discipline and accomplishments when we are faced with hardship or want something more.
In fact, it is not only during the hard times but a common thread that weaves through us throughout life. The inability to see our inherent worth and appreciate all that we do. The part of us that questions every choice or decision and searches for outside validation rather then trusting ourselves.
But even if we get that outside validation, we don’t feel it, we can’t take it in – it feels blocked.
In the film you watch her train day and night, you see her whole life and upbringing revolves around working hard at playing tennis, working on her mind-set and being an athlete so in the film when her dad reminds her that if she doesn’t realize her worth in the moment of challenge then she doesn’t have it all. You really feel it!
Whoa – how many of us do this? Have moments, days, months where we feel good about ourselves and then when the shit hits the fan, it’s all gone. We don’t give ourselves the respect we deserve – we don’t see ourselves – we don’t acknowledge how much inner work and outer experiences it took to get us here!
I know you may not be playing the match of your dreams right now but I want to echo the meaning of this quote to you. Self-respect comes first – before outside validation can arrive, your inner respect needs to be front and center even if it is a struggle or you have made mistakes, even if you are not receiving the feedback you want.
And if you think you lost it or maybe never had it to begin with, I invite you to use your intuition, curiosity and creativity to dig deeper. You can join the waitlist for Sparks of Light – A Creative Community here.
Peace, Love and Light,
Orly
P.S. Stay tuned for exciting new ways of working together that incorporate healing, creativity and intuition!
